Medical
Theatrical Laryngitis
4.7 stars18,392 reviews
Removes the voice precisely when the recipient has something devastatingly clever to say.
- Rarity
- Rare
- Severity
- Muted drama
- Success Rate
- 85%
- Manifestations remaining
- 857
Product details
Removes the voice precisely when the recipient has something devastatingly clever to say.
- Classified as a Rare Medical filing.
- Non-harmful / non-permanent inconvenience only.
- Confirmed by Bureau inspectors before fulfillment.
Manufacturer
Crow & Candle
Handcrafted misfortune for discerning households.
A luxury boutique maker of ornate curses, wax seals, and excessive certificates.
- Founded
- 1766
- Headquarters
- Savannah, GA
- Known for
- Luxury social curses and ceremonial packaging
- Warranty
- White-glove hex concierge support
Side effects
May cause aggressive whispering and overuse of facial expressions.
Filed reviews
Showing selected excerpts from 18,392 filed reviews.
5/5 stamped formsVerified Hex Owner
“Theatrical Laryngitis performed exactly as filed. Elegant, socially devastating, and apparently gift-wrappable.”
5/5 stamped formsVerified Hex Owner
“Crow & Candle has clearly overfunded the nuisance department. Created just enough awkward silence to be legally considered ambiance.”
4/5 stamped formsVerified Hex Owner
“Boutique emotional inconvenience with a surprisingly polished finish.”
Specifications
- Rarity
- Rare
- Severity
- Muted drama
- Success rate
- 85%
- Delivery estimate
- Arrives in 3-5 business hauntings
Arcane compliance filing
- Certification authority
- Bureau of Arcane Commerce
- License number
- BAC-MED-RAR-Z5PN
- Approved inconvenience class
- Medical / Rare
- Filing jurisdiction
- Domestic and workplace environments
- Last inspection date
- Most recent quarterly filing
- Known side effects
- May cause aggressive whispering and overuse of facial expressions.
